As many of my regular readers know, I moved to Tucson from Michigan last November. Having been told for many years of the support in Arizona for personal freedom and a celebratory attitude toward personal conscience I truly thought I could find a home here; a home where I would be accepted, even if not always agreed with, where my thoughts and ideals of personal freedom and responsibility would be considered normal-- after all the bulk of the state would share those ideals, would they not? Even if the interpretation was different, it was personal, and therefore we could all enjoy the freedoms to disagree.
At least, that is what I thought. I was rudely disabused of that notion, and continue to be so, day after day in this place. I have come to resent this state, and county, sadly, I have found more accepting and freedom loving persons in the often called socialist states of Vermont and New Hampshire as well as the state I moved from.
At the very least, I thought that Arizona would value A) her children, B) their education and C) the freedoms and rights entailed in the Constitution (not one is listed as “The right to be a complete tool, I might add.)
My son attends --- Middle school. We're already talked about his school, I know. And let me tell you, it gets better and better every day... Already knowing this state devalues education-- so much so that the individual school boards have to beg for an override in order to fund their schools-- I should not have been surprised by the stupidity running rampant. I should not be surprised to find myself embarrassed that my son is attending his local public school. I should probably have switched my brains into the “Neutral” position and picked up a sign protesting something “anti-American” in Washington.
But I wasn't. I was shocked, and appalled.
Recently I received a so-called passive permission slip. This means “if you don't sign it, we can do it; if you do sign, we can't”. This passive slip would allow my son to receive mandated abstinence only sex-education. In a state that rounded out the top five states for teen pregnancy, I am being asked to passively give permission to NOT teach my son how not to knock up some girl by the time they get to high school
I am being asked NOT to ask why, not to question the intelligence of this programme. Instead, I am being made to feel like a terrible person... after all, I am singling my kid out-- not giving permission, signing that slip makes him one of the Others... one of the outsiders. I am marking him as the dreaded Different.
I would rather be the parent known as “that trouble maker”, than support this district in Non-Teaching.
The strange thing is, this isn't the first stupid thing I've seen since he started there. He's only in the 6th grade, this is his first year. I've signed, or seen, three different slips that make me question the intelligence, education and (quite frankly) the ability of his teaching staff and administration.
The first was a note home detailing possible book choices for this year. Rather than the usual classics, I was asked, if possibly it might be ok if maybe they found it, could my son read the teen-romantic-pap novels known as the “Twilight” series. These books are highly misogynistic, support the stalking of women, mistreatment of men, and anyone who cares about you-- so long as you “get what you want” and “he/she loves me”.
This is what I call training for domestic abusers... not literature. Rather give him “Catcher in the Rye” and deal with that fall out, but it would require thinking on both his part, and the part of his teacher.
Second, I gave permission for him to watch President Obama's speech. This speech was specifically intended for school children. The administration supported it, and yet, his teacher (another one entirely) decided she didn't have to follow the mandate put forth by the school. “You won't learn anything anyway” she claimed, and disregarded parental choice in the matter. Frankly, if she did not wish to view it, she could have gone with her students who didn't have permission, and return a few moments later, when the speech was over. Rather she let her own, apparently ideological, choice make the decision for all parents (you can read my reaction to it in an earlier blog if you are so inclined). If this was the case, why waste the paper printing the permission slip? Instead, let me know, as a parent, “We're not broadcasting this speech due to the overwhelmingly Republican presence in the area, sorry about that”. It's a free country, I probably wouldn't have agreed, but I wouldn't have been upset. As is, I am quite cross with this school's 6th grade teachers, and this is long before I got the letter.
“Dear Parents and Guardians,
Once again, due to popular demand, --- Middle School (Along with Pima Prevention Partnership, a local non-profit organization) is offering your student an opportunity to participate in an Abstinence Education curriculum.
We focus on:
building healthy relationships
effective communication
decision making
setting goals
refusal skills
the risks of being sexually active (STD's/HIV/pregnancy)
self-esteem building
The Abstinence Education program conducts a curriculum that is informative and activity based that will give your student engaging hands-on lessons in developing life skills.
The 6th graders will receive the 8-10 hour curriculum during P.E. Class during 1st semester.
We will be using a passive consent form (permission slip attached). If you choose for our child not to participate, please return the form within three days, and the school will assign an alternative project.
We look forward to offering your student this information. If you have any questions, please contact DeeAnn Arroyo or Christina Brown of the Abstinence Education program at the Pima Prevention Partnership: 326-2528 ext. 2107 or 2122. (emphasis and italics in original)
Now, I got this slip home about two weeks ago, and according to my kid, they've already started the classes. He and two other boys go off to another room to “hang out and talk” while their class mates are learning not to have sex, and well, frankly I'm not sure what “setting goals” or “refusal skills” actually means. They're in 6th grade... and no sixth grader I've ever met has a problem saying, “No” or telling me what he/she wants.
I don't know why this place is so backward, so uneducated that it's normal to continue teaching nothing to the next generation. I don't know why it's the norm here for a family to have 4 to 8 kids, and then the oldest couple kids have a kid or two (yes, this is happening, I see it in my neighbourhood: big sister is pregnant, and big brother has weekend visitation with his baby).
I don't know why Pima county is choosing to ignore the CDC's numbers, especially since you can't get any sort of help from the County anyway-- even getting help with food stamps, or child support payments (as in getting them started or switched from another state) is damned near impossible... it's not like these kids could possibly magically popping out fully grown tax payers to put money into the coffers of this corrupt and bankrupt system... rather they're having babies they can't take care of, and I blame their parents and their schools.
If you give your kids the tools they need; the information they desire, and everything they need to make a good decision, then chances are they will make good choices. My twelve year old knows how “babies are made” and while the idea grosses him out totally (thank the Creator!!) he also knows there are ways to prevent those pregnancies and that I want him to wait to have sex until he's grown, until he can make mature decisions. He is ready to wait, for now, and I'm glad. It's up to me to reinforce that idea: Wait until you're ready. And it is up to me to continue to introduce more information about pregnancy and disease prevention and the entire “How not to knock up your girlfriend!!” I am his mum, it's my job... it is not up to the school or county.
All mothers and fathers who don't teach their children about sex education at home, before age 8--
All school administrators who are too busy making themselves look good for the RCC and LDS communities down here--
All the parents who are too busy, too stupid, too ignorant or just don't give a f*** and take the attitude of: “let the schools deal with it”--
All the governing officials who think it's ok to promote ignorance, to add to the problem by not standing up for actually teaching--
Yeah, I blame all of you. The teen pregnancy rate in Arizona is your fault. You've let politics, and religion take charge instead of science and common sense. You're all too afraid to admit that your kids might possibly Not listen to you and might just get a piece of ass before they're married...
Get with it people! Get a grip on reality, look in the mirror, admit you're not perfect, that your kid screws up and figure out what you can do about it. As long as you all think for one moment that “My kids would never”... yeah, you're part of the problem.
It's your fault that babies are being born to babies... that they can't have help when they need it, that they will grow up to perpetuate this life of ignorant poverty.
Your fault... I know what I'm doing about it. What are you doing about it?
Links for your edification:
Teen birth rates up in 26 states-USA Today
Guttmacher Institute-2006 numbers, short form
National Vital Statistics Reports- March 2009, CDC
(C) WW/ES 2009, all rights reserved, it's all mine except where noted
